Mother finds solace in soccer after son's death

From the moment he was old enough to kick a ball, Spencer Farley loved playing soccer.

His commitment to the game saw his family become entrenched in the Berkeley Vale Soccer Club, on the NSW Central Coast.

His mother, Louise, was content playing a supporting role, but when Spencer was 12, he was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and became too unwell to play.

So he encouraged Ms Farley to give the game a go.

"He said, 'Mum, none of us are playing soccer this year and that can't be right … you should sign up,'" Ms Farley said.

"[But] he said, 'Just give it a shot,' and I did, and I actually love it."

When Ms Farley debuted as goalie in the Berkeley Vale women's over-35s competition, Spencer was there to watch.

"Sometimes I just think he wanted to come to the canteen and eat his steak sandwich on the sideline and cheer me on as I failed," she said.

"But I actually surprised him and caught the ball a few times and was a little bit better than I'd ever expected."

Son's 'wise words'

In the weeks and months after Spencer died in July 2025, Ms Farley continued to play.

"If I'm being honest, my team last year kept me on track," she said.

"If I didn't have them and I didn't have Tuesday training to turn up to and Friday games, I'm sure I would have sat on the couch and never moved again."

Ms Farley said her son pushed her into a community that would be there for her.

Berkeley Vale Soccer Club manager Greg Brownlow said supporting the Farley family through their loss had been an honour.

"Spencer was an incredible person himself from a club perspective. [He] played, coached and refereed from a really young age," Mr Brownlow said.

"[He was] one of those kids that you feel has been here before and seemed older than what he was, and that's testament to Lou and Rob and their parenting.

Mental health benefits

Psychologist Melissa Turner said in addition to providing a ready-made support network, playing sport could help people deal with grief in other ways.

"Grief is in itself its own process that you need to go through and the experiences of grief are very similar to those of depression and anxiety and major stress, so you're producing quite a lot of chemicals such as cortisol and adrenaline," she said.

"Physical exercise [produces] those chemicals like dopamine and serotonin and all those feel-good chemicals.

Ms Turner said the concentration required to play sport was also beneficial.

"Sport is going to help [you] be able to switch off," she said.

"It's not good to do that all the time; you've got to allow yourself to process, but for a little while, it would give … a bit of respite."

Ms Turner said physical exertion could also help with sleep.

"The most important thing for all mental health across the board is sleep," she said.

"With grief, sleep is incredibly difficult, and the physical activity and the sport itself is going to work on helping [with] sleep."

Ms Farley said she would continue to pursue her soccer goals, which were about much more than weekly results.

"It's a beautiful friendship and community to have made," she said.