WESTBOUND AND UP

“For us now, it’s absolutely not a time to panic,” Anthony Barry urged in his now customary half-time debrief, with England 1-0 down to a Democratic Republic of Congo side playing with serious confidence. Thomas Tuchel’s No 2 coldly broke down what was required in the second half – “not a time to play gung-ho football” – but was done dirty by the stat that flashed up on the BBC’s coverage as he spoke. The last time England went on to win a World Cup match in which they conceded first? West Germany in the 1966 final. Yes, you may panic.

Dear England, were you ready to accept defeat, to scrape hard for excuses? This was a Lionel M exhibition, of course – even if it was Mpasi in goal rather than Messi up top. And you can forget about England’s right-back problem: how about that display from the Croydon-born Aaron Wan-Bissaka, even if he was playing for the opposition? Maybe it was time to pack up and accept that a home Euros in two years is the more realistic shout, bursting with that third-time-lucky narrative. The last decade has been a good run. We move.

Harry Kane wasn’t having it. With his late double he turned a potential re-run of Iceland 2016 into Slovakia 2024, and served up a reminder too: England are, believe it or not, quite good at this nowadays. This was their 10th knockout victory at a major tournament in the last eight years; the previous 40 years produced just six. They haven’t imploded in quite some time and Kane is a major reason with 11 knockout goals in five tournaments. “They’re all sharks,” proclaimed Tuchel when discussing Kane and fellow Ballon d’Or! Ballon d’Or! Ballon d’Or! contenders Messi, Kylian Mbappé and Erling Haaland. “If they smell blood, they come and score.”

That all sounds a little too intense for the kids, but Tuchel wants them to stay up in the UK and watch England take on Mexico in the early hours of Monday BST. “Let them watch,” tooted Tuchel. “There will be a big, big match in four days and we need the support of everyone and especially of the children,” he added, stopping just short of breaking into a rendition of Greatest Love of All. With the tournament co-hosts unbeaten in 10 World Cup games at altitude inside the gargantuan Azteca, England could do with help from all corners.