Older Parents Share Unique Challenges and Joys of Late-Life Parenting

Parenting at any age can be a rollercoaster, but when starting out later in life there can be some unique tests and triumphs.

After publishing our story on having babies in your 40s, we heard from readers on what being, or having, an older parent is like.

'The worst part is the loneliness'

I had my first child at 36, and my third at 44.

I've been called grandma at day care, but the worst part is the loneliness.

I've had a career, I've travelled, I am financially secure, but what I don't have is friends who have kids this young either.

My friends' kids are in high school and their youngest are finishing primary school, and I'm in day care.

We're so far removed from each other's realities.

What does play in the back of your mind is how old you'll be when they reach various milestones in life. It makes you want to try to be the best version of yourself. Be fit, strong and healthy and stay active so that my age won't define me.

They are so loved and in a loving family. They're so very wanted.

— Brooke, 45, Canberra/land of the Ngunnawal people

'It's hard being grandparents of toddlers'

I had my first child at nearly 39 and my second at almost 43.

This was unusual many years ago and they are the joy of my life.

However, my children's babies were also born to older mothers. And it's hard being the grandparents of toddlers when you are in your late 80s!

But they are also our greatest treasures and I'm grateful for them every day.

— Lisa (not her real name), 88, Melbourne/Naarm

'I had given up on being a parent'

My wife had our child at 45. They were naturally conceived.

I was 55 at the time and am now a 65-year-old dad of a thriving 10-year-old daughter.

It is challenging trying to match the energy levels of a 10-year-old, particularly in the evenings.

I had given up on being a parent, but I can easily attest that it's the best and most rewarding experience of my life.

In retrospect, the timing is not so bad either as I did live quite a carefree adult life until I became a parent.

— Mark, 65, Sydney/Gadigal Country

'I'm grateful for a mature, wise mum'

My mother had me at 47. Four years later my father, 60, passed.

By my mid-20s, I was facing heavy caring responsibilities for my now aged, disabled mum.

I'm grateful for the experience having a mature and wise mum gave me, but I won't be leaving it as late to have children myself.

— Inari, 28, Brisbane/Gubbi Gubbi country

'I'm so happy I had him'

I fell pregnant naturally at 45 and my son was born when I was 46. It was fantastic, I had the easiest pregnancy and birth.

I did find comments from the public annoying and embarrassing. "Oh he's spending the day with Grandma."

I did get very tired, but that was probably more because he was a terrible sleeper until he was four.

He's now 14 and I'm 60.

The age difference between his peers' parents and us doesn't seem to be as much these days.

We're enjoying each other's company. I don't get as tired as he needs less physically from me and at last, he sleeps better.

I'm so happy I had him. I always yearned for a second child.

— Sarah (not her real name), aged in her 60s, regional Victoria

'The sandwich generation'

What they don't know about yet is the generational squeeze. I had my last kids at 43 and 47. My parents were 76 and 79.

By the time my youngest was seven, my mother was 84 and needing end-of-life care. By 11, my father was 90 and in and out of ICU.

I was still trying to do school runs, coach the footy team work full-time and getting squeezed by the increasing support my parents needed.

— Mark, 65, Sydney/Gadigal Country

'I want to live to 100'

I became a mum for the first time just before my 46th birthday through IVF.

I remember waking up the day after my son was born and thinking that I truly didn't care if I achieved anything else in my life other than being his mum.

I felt like I had already achieved so much, and his birth was the icing on the cake.

Maybe it was the oxytocin kicking in, but I had never felt more content.

Even now that he is 17 months old, I still don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.

And while my biggest gripe about being an older mum is occasionally being called "granny" at his swim lessons, I honestly have no regrets.

— Emma, 47, Sydney/Gadigal Country

'It's not unsual to me'

I was closer to 42 than 41 when I had my son but didn't think it was anything special.

My maternal grandmother had seven children, the last two in her 40s.

My paternal grandmother had 10 children, with the younger children born to her when she was in her 40s.

My great-great-grandmother (paternal) gave birth to her first child on board a ship coming to Australia from Liverpool in 1860.

She had 11 more children, three of whom were born to her in her 40s.

Now, they were women I admire for being older mothers.

— Jane, 65, Hervey Bay

Thank you to everyone who wrote to us or commented on our Facebook post. Some comments have been edited for clarity and brevity.