More Australian Men Choosing Not to Have Children, Citing Diverse Reasons

Ian was 13 when his dad moved out. He says it was about then he first thought having kids wasn't for him.

"I was probably destined not to have them based on what I know about the males in my family," the 48-year-old from Adelaide/Tarntanya says.

"I didn't want to repeat my dad's mistakes."

Ian considers himself a "wanderer". He says his desire to "drift through the world a bit" means he didn't think fatherhood was an ideal fit.

About 15 per cent of Australian men say they don't want children, according to the 2025 Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia (HILDA) survey.

That's up from 11 per cent in 2005.

Much of the research into the decision to be childfree, or voluntarily childless, has focused on women. Researchers say that is no surprise "since having children is more strongly socially prescribed for women" and women bear "greater costs and risks to having a child than men".

Imogene Smith, a clinical psychologist and lecturer at The Cairnmillar Institute, is one of few Australian researchers who have studied child-free men.

She says talking about why men are turning way from fatherhood can help them feel supported in their decision.

Why more men are choosing not to have children

Family of origin was a common reason men shared for not wanting children in Dr Smith's surveys.

"[Fatherhood] didn't sound appealing to them," Dr Smith says.

Some touched on the relationship with their father "turning them away" from parenting, or having lots of siblings and seeing how hard it was for their parents, for example.

"It wasn't always a dad thing, but it was something to do with that template of what we all have in our mind of what it looks like to be a parent, which is firmly rooted in our parents," Dr Smith says.

She says for some, there was a desire to be "alternative".

"We had a fair bit of 'I'm different, I don't see myself in that way' … not wanting to follow the norm."

There were men who had felt firm in their decision from when they were young, says Dr Smith.

Participants also talked about various fears. For example, concerns about the climate or political environment, or passing on inheritable conditions around mental and physical health.

And despite Dr Smith's sample of men largely being middle-class and professionals, a lot had financial concerns.

"They just couldn't see how they could afford a bigger house to have a kid," she says.

Men were also influenced by the experience of raising children they saw around them, like their friends with kids, or watching parents at a cafe.

"One man said something about it ruining his sex life. He said, 'My friends who've got two kids, they have Dora the Explorer sex … however long that episode is, that's how long they've got to do it.'"

Do men face societal pressure to have kids?

While Ian knew in his teens that he didn't want kids, he says he gave himself permission to change his mind.

But that never happened. Ian met his wife, who "was of the same mindset", 16 years ago.

Their desire to stay childfree is part of what pulled them together, he says.

Child-free men have previously shared with ABC Lifestyle experiencing a pressure to carry on the family name, or judgement that they are not a "real man" if they don't have kids.

Dr Smith says most of the men she spoke with said any societal pressure they faced "just washes over" them.

"They just kind of laughed [when I asked about it] — they just weren't bothered."

Previous research has shown that childless men have poorer health outcomes, are at higher risk of social disconnection, and face negative stigma. But Dr Smith suspects that could be because much of the research focuses on older men of previous generations.

"If you waited until the current generation of 30-year-olds was 70 or 80, you might get a different result."

How child-free men are viewed by others

While Ian hasn't felt pressure to have children, he says his child-free status does raise eyebrows when meeting new people.

"Someone [at work] asked me just the other day, 'Have you got kids? You don't ever do the school run?' I said, 'I don't have kids', and they were shocked."

Tom Denson, a professor in the School of Psychology at UNSW, co-authored research published earlier this year looking at the negative bias child-free people experienced.

It found child-free men experienced less bias than child-free women for making the same choice not to have children.

"Child-free men were rated higher in interpersonal warmth than child-free women, who were viewed as less warm," Professor Denson says.

A study into the stigma and societal pressures for voluntary childless men and women found women were seen by society as "spinsters", while men were "living the dream".

Dr Smith says the men in her study "weren't overly concerned" about people judging them for their choice.

"They went to the effort of telling me, unprompted, what they do to contribute to society and leave their own kind of legacy.

"Some of the men were telling me about their charity work, places they donate to, some worked with young people.

"They felt quite OK about contributing to society in their own way. And had a strong sense of this choice doesn't make me less than somebody who has a child."