
日本心理學家宮崎美惠子指出,催促孩子寫功課的指令式溝通是親子溝通的毒藥,一流家長應使用合作語言和尊重態度,讓孩子承擔自身行為後果,從而培養責任感與自我效能。
AI-generated summary
文章介紹了日本心理學家宮崎美惠子基於阿德勒心理學的育兒觀點,強調區分「父母的問題」與「孩子的問題」,以培養孩子的責任感和自我效能為核心。
三流家長只會催「快點寫功課」!專家揭一流家長用「這招」,讓孩子學會負責。(資料照)
〔財經頻道/綜合報導〕孩子放學後沉迷遊戲、遲遲不寫作業,或是房間亂得找不到東西,許多父母第一反應往往是催促、提醒,甚至直接下命令。不過,日本心理學家宮崎美惠子指出,這種不斷下達指令與命令的催促方式,往往是親子的溝通毒藥。真正能激勵孩子邁向獨立的一流家長,懂得捨棄居高臨下的控制語氣,改以既非命令也非指令的「合作語言」與「尊重態度」,引導孩子主動為自己負責。
日媒報導,這項教養核心深刻源自阿德勒心理學的理念,將「父母的問題」與「孩子的問題」明確區隔。釐清界線的第一步,就是客觀檢視行為後果最終由誰承擔。當孩子沉迷遊戲而吃冷飯、不做作業而在學校感到尷尬,或是房間凌亂找不到東西時,這些後果全由孩子自身承受,因此本質上屬於「孩子的問題」,父母無需過度干涉或強制代勞。
請繼續往下閱讀...
相反地,希望孩子考上名校、兄友弟恭,以及隨之而來的焦慮不安,往往才是「父母的問題」。許多家長常假借指導之名,將自身價值觀與外界眼光強加於孩子身上,盲目追求完美或堅信只有自己的方式才正確。這種過度保護與不必要的確認,只會剝奪孩子建立自尊與信任的機會,讓他們誤以為自己的判斷毫無價值,進而對大人產生極深依賴。
當父母不再將任務視為一種懲罰,而是視為建立自我效能的契機時,親子對話便能產生奇蹟般的轉變。例如,將傳統命令句「別玩遊戲了」替換為「晚餐再20分鐘好,自己注意時間過來吃」,隨後在孩子按時前來時予以肯定:「你能注意時間並主動停止,真的很棒!」針對功課問題,父母可以放下預設立場,溫和詢問「現在方便放鬆一下嗎?」,並在完成時給予讚賞。
至於收拾房間,則能轉換為「明天是資源回收日,能幫忙把要扔的東西整理好嗎?」,事後感激他們的付出。透過傳遞「我相信你有能力處理好」的信任感,孩子便能在被尊重的氛圍下培養出自我控制與主動合作的責任心。
給予孩子犯錯與體驗後果的空間,更是培養洞察力不可或缺的經驗課。宮崎美惠子分享自身經歷:她二年級的兒子曾因為極度熱愛英雄戰隊,興高采烈地穿著全套紅T恤、紅褲子、紅襪子與紅鞋子去上學。當時她雖感尷尬並擔心旁人眼光,卻選擇壓抑干涉的衝動,放手讓兒子體驗自己的選擇。儘管當晚收到了其他家長的尖銳質疑,孩子也在連續穿了兩天後,因為同學的眼光而主動宣布「別人說這樣很怪,我以後不這樣穿了」。這正是最真實的學習現場,如果父母事先出手阻止,孩子就失去檢驗自身想法、承擔選擇後果並進行修正的實踐經驗。
放手絕非冷漠地貼上標籤或置之不理,而是在劃清責任界線後,以溫柔支持的姿態展現合作意願。當孩子深刻體驗到自己的決定權,並經歷完整行動帶來的真實後果,自然能從中汲取成長的養分,建立起強大的自主意識與自信心。未來面對充滿未知與挑戰的大人世界時,這份由內而生、為自己行為負責的承擔力,將會是父母送給孩子最珍貴的成長禮物。
一手掌握經濟脈動 點我訂閱自由財經Youtube頻道

Tim Andrews, who suffered kidney failure due to diabetes and high blood pressure two years ago, received a genetically modified pig kidney transplant from the Brigham of Massachusetts General Hospital in January 2025. After nine months of survival, he received a human donor kidney transplant in 2026. He became the first patient in the world to receive a xenogeneic and then homologous kidney transplant. His case provides preliminary evidence for xenotransplantation as a "bridge" to human organ transplantation.

Wang Wenjun, deputy director of the National Medical Insurance Administration, said at a press conference held by the State Council Information Office that as of now, the number of people insured by maternity insurance has reached 260 million, 22 provinces have included flexible employment personnel, and 28 provinces have implemented zero personal out-of-pocket payment for hospital delivery. In the first seven months of this year, the maternity insurance fund spent 78.42 billion yuan, benefiting 25.56 million people. She proposed that the maternity insurance system will be continuously improved from three aspects: expansion, burden reduction, and convenience to better support the construction of a fertility-friendly society.

The State Council Information Office held a press conference on September 4. Shi Zihai, deputy director of the National Medical Insurance Administration, introduced the development achievements of medical insurance during the "14th Five-Year Plan" and proposed that during the "15th Five-Year Plan" period, the reform and development of medical insurance will be promoted from four aspects: strengthening the system and making up for shortcomings, promoting reform and promoting coordination, refining management and optimizing services, and laying a solid foundation for strong support.

Sarah Tam, a 30-year-old Hong Kong social worker, spent a month at a postpartum care centre in Shenzhen after giving birth in mid-July, citing lower costs and 24-hour newborn care as key reasons for crossing the border, where the package cost HK$40,000 compared to over HK$70,000 in Hong Kong.

The State Council Information Office held a press conference. Li Tao, deputy director of the National Medical Insurance Administration, introduced that the medical insurance department will promote more innovative drugs to be included in the basic medical insurance and commercial health insurance catalogs, unify the national medical service items and consumable reimbursement catalogs, and accelerate the clinical application of innovative results to better serve China's modernization drive.

With the popularity of sleep tracking devices, some people have become anxious due to over-reliance on sleep scores, which in turn affects sleep quality. Experts point out that the so-called sleep score has no scientific basis and is a concept created by manufacturers. Excessive pursuit of perfect sleep may lead to orthosomnia and actually make people sleep worse.