There was no wedding reception, no wedding car, no emcee, no makeup and photography, not even the best man or bridesmaid.
In September this year, the wedding of a "post-95s" couple in Ningbo, Zhejiang, quickly went out of the circle after being spread on social media. It was called the "Four No Weddings" by netizens. It was trending on major platforms and was reprinted and commented on by many media, triggering heated discussions in the whole society about new wedding customs.
The only ceremonial part of the entire wedding banquet was the 41-second brief speech by the bride's father on stage. After saying "Eat well and drink well", the banquet started directly. On the LED electronic screen at the scene, a few lines of straightforward and down-to-earth text were particularly eye-catching: "Thank you everyone for coming to our wedding banquet. If you don't have enough food, you can eat at the next table. The food and wine are meager, the hospitality is not good, and there is no ceremony. The meal is served when everyone is gathered..."
"They say young people are cleaning up the workplace, aren't they even planning weddings?" A message with more than 14,000 likes expressed the sentiments of many netizens. A large number of sociophobic groups also left sympathetic comments: "Only people who are sociophobic know how relaxing such a simple wedding can be."
Removing red tape and rejecting face-saving comparisons, this unconventional wedding touched the inner aspirations of many young people today.
"When a daughter gets married, according to local customs, it is usually a big event, and we have thought about it. But now young people have different ideas from us, and the young couple works in Shanghai, and the work pace is fast and stressful. We respect their ideas." On the 13th, entrusted by his daughter, the bride's father, Mr. Zhu, admitted in an interview with a reporter from China News Service that his family had no plans to have a traditional wedding at first.
The bride, Ms. Zhu, is from Qiudong Village, Xianxiang Town, Yinzhou, Ningbo, and her husband is from Taizhou. They both work hard in Shanghai. On September 12, they first held a wedding banquet in the man's hometown of Taizhou; on September 26, they returned to the woman's hometown and held another banquet at the Qiudong Village Cultural Hall. Both banquets cut off all the traditional wedding procedures. There was no wedding parade or stage performance. The banquet started as soon as the guests arrived.
Mr. Zhu said that choosing to host the banquet in the village cultural hall was not only the young couple’s suggestion, but also fully respected the wishes of the 80-year-old family member. "The elders in the family are over 80 years old. On the one hand, they are looking forward to witnessing the marriage of the younger generation and hope that family relatives can have a lively gathering. On the other hand, considering the inconvenience of many elderly relatives in traveling, hosting a banquet at the doorstep is safe and hassle-free. Nowadays, rural cultural halls have complete facilities for family banquets. Hosting banquets in hometowns is economical and affordable, and it also fulfills the older generation's wish to reunite."
On the one hand, there is the traditional wish of the elders for family reunion, and on the other hand, there is the practical appeal of the young people who do not want to be consumed by cumbersome rituals. Mr. Zhu summed up the core of this wedding in one sentence: "One respects the elderly in the family, and the second respects the opinions of young people. Both generations respect each other." The two generations understood each other and took a step back, making this wedding banquet that hit the Internet.
Under the hot discussion on the Internet, there are also different voices. Some people have raised questions: Will simplifying the wedding ceremony not seem to pay enough attention to the guests?
As many netizens said in their comments, "In a simple wedding, the attitude of the family, especially the woman, is crucial." Mr. Zhu believes that there is no unified standard answer to marriage, and multiple choices should be tolerated. At home, this wedding banquet was widely recognized by relatives and friends present, "As long as we treat guests sincerely and treat them honestly, there is no problem in being simple."
In this wedding, all the budget originally spent on the wedding ceremony, motorcade, photo shoots and other ceremonial aspects was transferred to the quality of the banquet and giving back to the guests, achieving the goal of "subtracting from the ceremony and adding with sincerity."
The wedding banquet costs about 2,000 yuan per table. It is cooked by a local chef who is familiar with Mr. Zhu. Hard dishes such as garlic king crab, millet ginseng, and boiled black golden abalone are served in sequence. The dishes are generous in portions and not formalistic in presentation.
When a local wedding banquet is held, it has always been the custom for newlyweds to hand out cigarettes to the guests present. Considering that many people do not smoke nowadays, the couple directly replaced the cigarettes with cash red envelopes: 200 yuan per person for guests present; an additional 100 yuan for relatives and friends who have already given gifts; and 500 yuan red envelopes for children present.
The family also did not ignore the elderly in the village who had limited mobility and could not attend the event. "For the elderly in nursing homes and those who have limited mobility and cannot come to the scene, we specially come to deliver wedding candies and red envelopes to send our thoughts to their doorsteps," Mr. Zhu said.
Relevant staff in Xianxiang Town said that this wedding actively abandoned the red tape of wedding comparisons and was a vivid practice of Zhejiang's "Ten Etiquettes in Zhejiang Style and Proper Etiquette". In recent years, the local government has relied on the cultural halls of each village to create standardized and civilized family banquet services, written new wedding arrangements and simplified wedding arrangements into village rules and regulations, and carried out regular publicity on changing customs to guide the masses out of the "face competition" and make frugal and civilized weddings a heartfelt choice for villagers.
"We are ordinary people who live a pragmatic life. Extravagance and waste make us feel uneasy." The unexpected popularity of the wedding surprised Mr. Zhu. In his simple opinion, the core reason why this wedding received a lot of likes was not that the format was so trendy, but that it returned to the original intention of ordinary people's lives.
After this wedding hit the screen, major mainstream media outlets commented one after another. Guangming.com commented that the popularity of "Four No Weddings" represents that contemporary young people have taken back the initiative in weddings, reject the coercion of consumerism, and value the happiness of marriage itself more than the short-lived ostentation. A People's Daily commentary article mentioned that from zero betrothal gifts and low betrothal gifts to minimalist weddings and collective weddings, simple and civilized wedding customs are becoming popular. The core of weddings is to witness love, not to compete for appearance.
Ms. Zhu also revealed to the media afterwards that she and her husband are both introverted "i people" and are afraid of the physical and mental exhaustion caused by complicated ceremonies. They neither want to trouble themselves nor make their parents overwork themselves for the wedding, so they jointly finalized this minimalist plan.
In the comment area, the most liked comments from netizens did not focus on how much money was saved on this wedding, but the tenderness of mutual understanding between the two generations.
Some netizens left a message: "No matter how grand the wedding is, it does not necessarily mean that you will live a down-to-earth life. No matter how simple the wedding is, it does not necessarily mean that you will live a miserable life. This is the sobriety of the world." Some netizens lamented: "Being willing to give up the pomp and live a down-to-earth life, this is what marriage should be like."
The day after the wedding, the post-95 couple packed their bags and returned to Shanghai to return to their daily work.
"Most of the young people working hard outside are like this. Young people are working hard, and parents see it. If you can understand, understand more, and support if you need support." Mr. Zhu said that the grand ceremony is only a moment, and the long and smooth days afterward are the real answer to marriage.
