Beau Lamarre-Condon has told his double-murder trial he is "responsible" for the death of his former partner Jesse Baird, but that he did not intentionally kill the man.
The former police officer is accused of using his police pistol to shoot dead Mr Baird and his new boyfriend Luke Davies in Mr Baird's Paddington share house in February 2024.
Prosecutors allege Mr Lamarre-Condon developed an obsessive infatuation with Mr Baird after a casual romance with the television presenter in 2023.
The NSW Supreme Court trial has over the past seven weeks heard evidence about Mr Lamarre-Condon's movements in the week of the alleged murders, with the Crown alleging the 31-year-old took deliberate steps to cover up his involvement in the deaths.
Mr Lamarre-Condon has pleaded not guilty to both murder charges and on Thursday moved from the dock into the witness box to give evidence in his defence case.
His lawyers have previously said he acted in self-defence following two separate struggles with the gun at the Paddington home.
Returning to court on Friday, Mr Lamarre-Condon recounted how he intended to collect his belongings, including a surfboard and $25,000 Cartier ring, from the share house without Mr Baird's knowledge on February 19, 2024.
He said the idea to do this was sparked by a conversation with a friend who had successfully retrieved her things from an ex-boyfriend's home.
He said he planned to request stress leave from NSW Police that same day following a period of bullying and harassment at work.
"It was just going to be a normal day," he said.
'It wasn't intentional'
Mr Lamarre-Condon started driving to the Paddington home sometime after 6am, but said he wanted to wait until he was sure no one was home before entering.
He spotted a delivery driver's motorcycle while he waited, which he said gave him the idea of taking the helmet, high-vis jacket and empty paper bag so he could knock on Mr Baird's door without being recognised.
Mr Lamarre-Condon wanted to avoid a confrontation with his ex-partner, he said, and was concerned Mr Baird would report him for harassment.
He then recounted in detail his movements inside the house, including the moment Mr Baird spotted him and shouted "we're getting robbed, we're getting robbed".
"He couldn't see that it was me," Mr Lamarre-Condon said, explaining he was wearing the helmet he took from the food delivery motorcycle at the time.
The former police officer said Mr Baird "lunged at him" with a knife and a struggle began.
Mr Lamarre-Condon said he "went into police mode", telling Mr Baird to drop the knife or he would shoot.
The court heard he signed his firearm out the day before and had not wanted to leave it in the car while he collected his belongings.
He said he shot Mr Baird in the shoulder and the man dropped the knife.
He then described a tug of war over the pistol with Mr Baird, saying it was his finger and not Mr Baird's on the trigger when the gun discharged another time.
The court heard Mr Baird sustained a gunshot to the head.
Officer passed out after shootings, court told
Mr Lamarre-Condon became emotional at times while recounting the incident and could be seen with a string of rosary beads wrapped around his hand.
He said he put Mr Baird in the recovery position and started to plan to get help.
He said Mr Davies discovered him while Mr Lamarre-Condon was dialling Triple Zero (000).
He said Mr Davies was holding the police pistol and saying, "'I'm going to f***ing shoot you".
Police training kicked in, Mr Lamarre-Condon said, and he grabbed Mr Davies's wrist to try and direct away the gun.
"At that point I was just looking at his firearm … and I saw … he was obviously pulling down on the trigger," he said.
The gun went off, Mr Lamarre-Condon said, with the bullet going through Mr Davies's head and a bedroom door.
He said his finger was not on the trigger when the gun discharged.
"I didn't shoot Luke," he said.
Mr Lamarre-Condon said he had a panic attack and passed out for a period of time.
"It was like I was floating out of my body and looking down at myself and everything around me didn't seem real," he said.
The trial continues.
