José María Ezquiaga, architect "Young people are nostalgic for having a better future within their reach"
Inma Cuesta "I come from a very working-class family and I have always studied with scholarships, who is going to tell me that I cannot protest the housing crisis"
How did the toxic relationship described in the book begin?
He wrote me an email to propose an interview for a film that I made when I was 16, La Mosquitera. He told me that he was starting his degree in Journalism, that he had seen the film and that he thought it was interesting. I agreed and that's how we met, although at first he seemed like a strange person to me. He gave me insecurity, he had a cloudy look and there was something in his way of being that did not inspire confidence in me. I felt rejection and tried to run away from him. But he kept insisting that we meet. In the end I agreed and fell completely into that relationship.
What did he tell you?
He explained to me that his family belonged to a secret, hidden group that orchestrated the entire world. Little by little he explained to me how everything I had known until then was a big lie made to manipulate me. He never finished giving a name to that organization, he didn't talk to me about Freemasonry, but he talked about secret societies, power structures and how everything was controlled.
Why did you believe him?
Honestly, I don't understand why. From what I have spoken with psychologists, he had a profile of a narcissistic psychopath. He enjoyed playing with me as if I were a puppet and dedicated his life to talking to me. He didn't do anything else. He had a huge obsession with manipulating me, it was what gave him life and I didn't know how to see it.
How did it affect you?
I came to think that I didn't really want to be an actor, that it was just ego, something that the elites had imposed on me. The topic of spiritualism and destinies also entered. He told me that I was blinded by the desire for power, that it was the ego that dictated my desires and that I should seek a brighter destiny, a higher purpose. According to him, acting in Merlí meant being part of a banal and superficial mechanism, that of entertainment, which served to lull people to sleep. He even told me to leave the series.
He changed his way of being.
I ended up leaving my family and friends aside. He told me that my family, no matter how family they were, were sleeping people. I walked away from them and lost absolutely everything. I stopped feeling love for my job and for life. There came a point where I thought that everything that was happening was a simulation created to control us. Everything seemed hostile to me. I wondered what the meaning of my existence was and ended up disassociating myself from everything.
And that moment Merlí became an international success and fans of the series began to stop him on the street.
People recognized me, but I was already involved in my own thing. My head was somewhere else. I didn't enjoy the success of the series one bit. From the first two seasons I only remember chaos. At that time I really believed that there were two kinds of people: those who were awake and those who were asleep. Most were asleep and very few people, counted on the fingers of one hand, were awake. I began to feel rejection towards those people who approached me because I thought that, if I hung out with them, I would get lost and would not be able to follow the path towards something bright. I also developed aggression and contempt. This is what people who dedicate themselves to manipulating and introducing others into sectarian dynamics achieve: they end up rejecting the rest of humanity to remain secluded and unable to escape. That's what he did with me. He made it so that I could only listen to him.
During that time he lost a lot of professional opportunities.
Completely. As I lost my love for the profession, they invited me to castings as a result of the success of Merlí and I didn't do them. I didn't want to do anything anymore. In fact, he didn't do the things he did well either because he had lost his enthusiasm. A few trains passed, and some good ones, but I wasn't up for that. I didn't even know what I was for in life. I was completely lost.
His sister helped him get out of the relationship. How did you recover?
I have been in therapy since 2023. Thanks to it I have regained my love for my profession. I have shot a movie and everything has gone perfect. I am also doing dubbing, giving voice to anime productions in Catalan, one for Netflix and some episodes of Doraemon. I am very happy. Conspiracies no longer plague me when I'm working. I have managed to relocate myself again. Everything is possible with therapy, with a good therapist and good follow-up.
Have you been able to see Merlí?
No, I have not seen it nor will I see it, at least until I am at peace with it. It's not because of my colleagues, I could see a scene in which they appear, but I don't like to see myself. I don't recognize myself. I see myself with a very empty, very dark look. I had a very bad time.
Did writing the book help you?
Yes, it helped me a lot. Now explaining it in interviews forces me to remember it and it is mentally exhausting, but it is what it has to do. I'm also glad to think it can help other people. Many are writing to me who have fallen into relationships of this style, even some who have ended up in sects and completely lost. I am relieved to think that I am not alone, that it is not something extraordinary or unusual, but more common than it seems.
