When her 10-year-old son was photographed and touched on his private parts by his classmates, Liu Li wanted an answer. In order to find the bully, Liu Li reviewed hundreds of hours of surveillance video and visited the parents of the children involved. "I want to know which children did it and why they did it."
The bullying occurred from April to June this year. In an ordinary primary school and a community near the primary school in Guangdong, some surveillance cameras captured the children surrounding Tian Tian and touching his private parts. Some surveillance cameras only captured the children pulling Tian Tian into a corner. The children also used their phone watches to take private videos and spread them in WeChat groups. In the entire bullying incident, there were 13 direct participants and 14 indirect participants.
One participant confessed the process of bullying escalation in his self-report to the police station - the first time, he forced Tian Tian to scold himself; the second time, he hit Tian Tian with "medium force"; the third time, he pushed Tian Tian down and sat on him; the fourth time, he took Tian Tian's watch away and returned it; the fifth time, he made Tian Tian expose his private parts.
Liu Li was shocked and heartbroken. Later she learned that the bullying started when Tian Tian was playing in the community, and her son never mentioned these encounters. Every night at 8 o'clock, Tiantian would go downstairs to play with his classmates in the courtyard of the community. At 9:30, he will appear at the door of the house sweating, his face flushed, and saying, "Mom, I had a great time."
Liu Li couldn't blame Tian Tian, because accurately expressing feelings is an obstacle that autistic people cannot overcome. Tiantian is not very good at catching other people's expressions and changes in tone of voice, and he doesn't understand jokes and sarcasm. When playing basketball, Tiantian couldn't quite identify who his teammates were. When he is obsessed with a specific issue, such as smart home, he will use his voice to try to turn on and off the lights at home over and over again. During basketball class, he will also chase others and ask, "Do you have smart appliances at home?"
But among autistic patients, Tian Tian is considered a child who can adapt well to ordinary schools. He can complete part of his homework, go to school by himself, go to the breakfast shop to eat by himself, and can also take the initiative to greet the teacher. Liu Li read a long picture book to him. After reading a new chapter, Tiantian could actively think of the previous chapters.
This is the result of Liu Li spending tens of thousands of hours. After Tiantian was diagnosed with autism when he was more than 1 year old, Liu Li resigned and stayed at home to teach him a little bit about the world. In order to teach him to call "Mom", Liu Li sat in front of the baby chair, held his face, raised his hand, pointed to herself, and kept repeating, "Mom". Just like this from morning to night. "My voice is hoarse every day." After 3 months, the child will call mother. It took Liu Li another six months to let her child learn to call him daddy.
Every progress made by Tian Tian makes Liu Li ecstatic. She didn't dare to expect too much. Whenever Tiantian's performance exceeded expectations, Liu Li would also fantasize: "If you keep helping the child like this, maybe one day the child can return to normal, or maybe he can marry a daughter-in-law in the future?"
Three years ago, Tian Tian successfully entered primary school, and Liu Li has always been proud of her son's progress. In this ordinary primary school in Guangdong, only the teacher knew that Tian Tian suffered from autism, and the children only regarded him as an ordinary classmate. Liu Li said that due to the guidance of the teacher, the children in the class are more tolerant of Tiantian, and Tiantian likes to go to school.
Data from the Ministry of Education show that in 2025, students receiving integrated education in regular schools will account for more than 60% of the total number of special education students. In recent years, more and more children with special needs have been admitted to regular schools. In August this year, seven departments including the Ministry of Education issued the "15th Five-Year Plan for the Development and Improvement of Special Education", requiring inclusive kindergartens and ordinary primary and secondary schools to give priority to children with disabilities who can adapt to kindergarten and ordinary school life in the area.
Some education experts also stated in the media that in ordinary classes, children with autism can get more real social situations, which is more effective than practicing in simulated social situations in institutions.
At the beginning, Liu Li went to school to accompany her and found that although Tiantian's grades could not keep up, her performance in class was very serious. Within the class, classmates are also very enthusiastic about him. Slowly, she let Tiantian go to and from school alone and found that he adapted well. In October last year, Liu Li returned to the workplace. "I feel that my life has finally returned to normal."
But one day in May this year, Liu Li's peaceful life was broken. One day she and her son were playing in the community, and his son came over and told her that someone asked him to take off his pants. "Who could be so boring?" Liu Li took the child and left without thinking much. But in the next few days, Tiantian, who was supposed to arrive home at 12 noon, came back at 12:30 one day. At that time, Liu Li just thought that the child was playful and told the child to go home at 12 noon. Later I found out that it was a senior kid who stopped him.
By June 1st, Tiantian began to be unwilling to go downstairs to play at night. On the afternoon of June 9, the head teacher contacted Liu Li and said that a senior child had taken Tian Tian away during recess. "(The head teacher) said you must pay attention to it."
On the evening of June 9, she and her husband decided to go downstairs and watch Tiantian play with other children. At first, the children were running around, playing jump rope and catching chickens with eagles. Suddenly a child shouted to Tian Tian, "God, please show your style."
"(I) had no idea what it meant," Tiantian later told her, "They threatened me and asked me to take off my pants." The child was not in the same class as Tiantian, so Liu Li followed the child home and asked the other parent if he knew anything about it. "(Parents) were also shocked." Later, through school investigation, we learned that this was the first time this child had done such a thing. After returning home, Liu Li asked Tiantian who else was threatening him, and Tiantian named another child in the community. Liu Li and her husband went to find the child's parents that night and got the next name from the child. That night she visited four families.
In the homes of these children, some children admitted on the spot that they had taken private photos of Tian Tian, but they did not admit that they made Tian Tian take off his pants. There are also children who insist that they have never done it, "We used to play well, but I don't know why he became like this." Later Liu Li found that after the survey results came out, these children who insisted that they had never done it had the most serious bullying behavior. They admitted to lying in their self-report materials to the police station.
Some parents expressed their apologies on the spot. Some parents beat their children after she left. But some parents insist, "My children will not do such a thing."
The next day, she sent the list of those involved to the school. A special investigation team was set up in the primary school that day. The Moral Education Department, the head teacher of the class involved, the grade leader, and the psychology teacher participated in the investigation. The children involved wrote "situation", "reflection" and "apology" on their composition papers. The school bullying incident investigation report showed that the children involved in bullying ranged from the second grade to the sixth grade. There were 27 children in total, and only two of them were Tian Tian’s classmates.
The school's handling opinion, stamped with a red official seal, reads, "This time, all related behaviors including physical, verbal, privacy infringement, shooting and dissemination of indecent images, group watching and instigation against ×× by multiple students across grade levels were collectively identified as student bullying incidents. All Participating students are divided into serious perpetrators, moderate participants, and onlookers and supporters based on the severity of their behavior. The school has completed the entire process of investigation and evidence collection, layered education and punishment, home-school mediation, special moral education, face-to-face apology, and psychological intervention for the victimized students in accordance with laws and regulations."
Liu Li discovered that the cause of this incident was that someone learned the Internet meme "show style" on a short video platform, so when playing with other children in the community, they used threats and inducements to guide Tian Tian to expose his body in public. The investigation report showed that some people gave Tian Tian nicknames and forced him to insult him in public. Some people "watched and booed" and some "used their phones and watches to take pictures of his privacy." Someone ripped the video and sent it to the student group, allowing others to retake it.
In their self-report materials, these primary school students wrote the cruelest facts in crooked handwriting.
After calling the police, Liu Li further checked the school and road surveillance, recorded the time when the children appeared, and cross-verified it with their self-report materials. She found that children were pulling Tian Tian away in the classroom stairwell, at the pavilion outside the school gate, and at the exit of the community parking lot. There was one scene that broke her heart - once after Tiantian entered the campus, a completely strange little girl passed by him and suddenly pushed him.
The scope of bullying is beyond Liu Li's imagination. At first, only one or two students did this. After half a month, there were as many as seven or eight children watching. They will also choose to bully Tiantian when there are no adults around, and even avoid monitoring. "When many children are doing this, other children will definitely follow suit."
She panicked about such widespread bullying, "Actually, what I'm most worried about is, can everyone push him (in the school)? Can everyone punch him? Can everyone ask him to take off his pants? At this point, he actually has a conditioned reflex. Whenever someone says, 'Please show your style,' he will take off his pants."
After the investigation was completed, the school contacted the parents of the children involved and, based on the students' behavior levels, gave them severe warnings, suspended classes for reflection, and submitted letters of apology. Some parents apologized sincerely and bowed to Liu Li on the spot. There are also some parents who do not agree with the school's decision on punishment and continue to protest at the school to obstruct the investigation. In order to protect her son's rights and interests, Liu Li decided to sue these parents. "An apology without price cannot be called an apology."
Although the case has been accepted by the court, the wound in Liu Li's heart is difficult to heal. She once thought about transferring Tiantian to another school. "I used to think that my child was causing trouble to the school, but I thought, isn't it the bullying child who is the initiator? Won't other children encounter such things?"
In the end, she decided to stay, "If I encounter the same thing elsewhere, should I leave?" She hoped that Tiantian could be respected equally like other children, which was why she initially let Tiantian enter the general school. On the other hand, the class teacher continued to support and encourage Tian Tian and Liu Li after the incident. He also organized educational class meetings in the class to popularize knowledge about dealing with special students. Most of Tian Tian's classmates have always been very friendly to him.
But after deciding to stay, the biggest problem was how to let Tiantian make friends safely. Tiantian has difficulty distinguishing between good intentions and bad intentions. In the self-report material, a child asked Tiantian why he took off his pants, and Tiantian said to him, "I want to make you laugh, I want to make you happy." Tian Tian hopes to make other children like him, but he doesn't know how. Liu Li recalled that in a surveillance video, when they first approached him, Tiantian ran away. But before long, Tiantian would come back to play with them again.
In order to allow Tian Tian to socialize more smoothly, Liu Li decided to hire "shadow teacher" Chang Xiaoxu. The main job of "Shadow Teacher" is to enter the school with Tiantian and follow Tiantian like a "shadow", but does not interfere with normal teaching. He is responsible for helping Tiantian understand the classroom rules, appeasing Tiantian's emotions, and reminding Tiantian how to socialize when he needs it.
“After the second grade begins, the isolation and exclusion of ‘NT children’ towards ‘star babies’ (NT children refer to children whose neurological development conforms to the mainstream norm and does not have neurodevelopmental differences such as autism - reporter’s note) will become more obvious.” Chang Xiaoxu has 5 years of experience in integrated education. She believes that it is difficult for younger children to understand the differences between children with autism and themselves, and it is necessary to create an environment for mutual understanding for them.
Although various places have continuously introduced policies to encourage children with special needs to enter ordinary schools and "attend in the same class", ordinary schools in various places are still exploring how to help them truly integrate during the actual implementation. The primary school in the east section of Minzu Avenue in Nanning, Guangxi operates special education classes and ordinary classes in parallel. The school also arranges study partners for autistic children. In You County, Hunan, eight standardized resource classrooms have been built in ordinary schools in townships (resource classrooms refer to professional support spaces located within ordinary primary and secondary schools to support students with special needs in regular classes - reporter's note), and professional itinerant teachers and medical experts are placed in on-campus rehabilitation clinics.
Chang Xiaoxu initially accompanied Tiantian into school. When classmates came over and asked Chang Xiaoxu what autism was, she would answer, "He's just not good at making friends." "I am an assistant teacher in your class," is how Chang Xiaoxu introduced himself.
Chang Xiaoxu discovered that Tian Tian rarely talked to his classmates during recess. He liked to walk around in the corridor alone and watch the senior students on the playground doing activities. When a classmate asks him "What are you doing?", he will subconsciously refuse and say, "I'm a little busy right now." "Actually, he's not busy with anything, he just doesn't know how to respond to the other person."
In order to give Tiantian and his classmates something to talk about, Chang Xiaoxu will communicate with the children in the class who are friendly to Tiantian in advance to understand their interests and hobbies, and then practice relevant topics with Tiantian in advance, so that when Tiantian chats with them the next day, he can accurately talk about the topics that the other person likes.
In order to help Tiantian learn to listen, Tiantian will also participate in group courses at rehabilitation institutions on weekends. Chang Xiaoxu and his colleagues will guide autistic children to interact and communicate through games. When Tiantian listens carefully to other children and gives correct responses, he will be rewarded with stickers. After collecting a certain number of stickers, the teacher will allow Tian Tian to dictate the rules of the next game.
Gradually, Tian Tian had a frequent chat partner in the class. During recess, when they got together, Tiantian would squeeze each other's shoulders and ask, "Do you feel comfortable?" When the other person says "it feels good", he will say, "Then you can give me a squeeze too."
In a Taoist class, the teacher asked the students to ask each other, "What do you look like in the eyes of others?" A classmate said to Tian Tian, "In my eyes, you are a very handsome, very kind, and very bright-eyed person." Chang Xiaoxu remembered that Tian Tian smiled happily and replied, "In my eyes, you are a very handsome, very friendly person."
Liu Li also noticed changes in her son - he began to raise his hand to answer questions, he ran for the class "walkie-talkie administrator", and he began to frequently mention his "best friend". What surprised her most was that her son actually learned to "deliberately conceal". One day after school, she asked her son about the content of the class meeting, but his son refused to tell her, "If I told you, you wouldn't let me play games." Her son liked playing mobile games very much. Later she learned that the theme of the class meeting was "Protect Eyes." "Although it was a small 'scheming', at that moment I thought, oh, he has a purpose."
The attitudes of the children around me are also changing. A classmate brought his friends to Tian Tian’s house to play "Operation Delta" and "Peace Elite". When friends brought by classmates asked, why is Tian Tian like this? The classmate replied, "It's impolite for you to ask that. Everyone has their own privacy." Liu Li smiled and said to them, "Everyone is different, he is born like this."
The classmate patted Tian Tian very loyally and said, "If anything happens to you in the future, you can come to me and I will protect you."
Liu Li believes that most children are kind-hearted, and those who participate in bullying are just curious and herd mentality makes them make mistakes. A child who participated in bullying once wrote in his self-report, "I could have stopped them, but I failed to stop them and sometimes laughed. This behavior will not only cause physical harm to others, but also serious psychological harm to others."
After the incident, Liu Li shared her experience on social platforms. Some people commented, "Be less morally kidnapped" and "Not harming society is the greatest love." But Liu Li does not regret letting Tiantian enter an ordinary school. "This is first of all a case of campus bullying. Evil exists to begin with, and ordinary children will also suffer it. Our children should inspire the goodness of human nature, not the evil of human nature."
In order to overcome Tiantian's fear of calling the police, Liu Li took her children to the police station and told Tiantian that if anyone threatened him again in the future, he could ask for help. The police, lawyers, and courts will support him, and he is protected and safe in the world. In order to help Tiantian identify "bad friends", Chang Xiaoxu would also hold a shark doll and deliberately make some excessive demands, asking Tiantian if he would agree. "If you don't agree, you are a bad friend."
But in addition, Liu Li also has longer-term concerns. "Society gives opportunities for integration, but many times it does not tell schools how to do it." When she communicated with other autistic parents, the common refrain was, "If the integration is not done well, what will happen to (the child's) survival and employment?"
Fortunately, in the new semester, Tiantian's school has established a resource classroom. Every week Tiantian will go to the resource classroom with his friends, and the special education teacher will play games with them to help Tiantian buffer his emotions and learn to socialize, 1-2 times a week. Liu Li’s goal for the new semester is simple, “Our hope is not how well he can play with ordinary children, but that he is safe in this world.”
(Liu Li and Tian Tian are pseudonyms in the article)
