In Spain, people kissing each other in public places is an everyday thing. But Spain's relaxed attitude towards public display of love points to a surprising history of oppression and rebellion.
People are seen kissing each other everywhere in Spain. It is a common thing to kiss someone on both the cheeks one by one when you meet someone. But apart from this, kisses expressing love are also seen.
Once I got stuck on a busy city street behind a middle-aged couple who had stopped and started kissing each other. Seeing young people kissing in sun-bathed parks reminds me of bygone days.
I have also seen drunk people expressing love by hugging each other amidst the fireworks at the Las Fais Festival in Valencia, Spain. Even my accountant writes 'besos' (kisses) at the end of her emails.
It's been more than six years since I've lived in Spain and I've now become accustomed to these ways of expressing love in public. But when a friend of mine returned to Valencia after a trip to Japan, she noticed them immediately.
As soon as he came out of the train station, he saw a couple kissing each other on a bench. After spending some time in a country where such scenes of love are rarely seen in public places, she felt relieved after seeing this scene.
This raised a question in my mind, 'Is Spain really a country of open kissers? And what do these scenes of expressing love in public places tell about people's perception of the culture and history there?'
One reason for this could be how the people of Spain use public places. In many parts of the country, everyday life takes place outside homes, on busy streets, cafes and parks.
A study by the University of Warwick found that Spain is among the countries where people like to keep the shortest distance from each other when meeting a new acquaintance.
This distance is less than that of Greece, Italy and Portugal. This trend is clearly visible in the bustling squares of Spain. The outdoor seating areas there are filled with friends who sit shoulder to shoulder and drink beer in the sun.
Amparo Lassen, a sociology professor at the Complutense University of Madrid, says that people in Spain express their emotions more through body language than people in Northern Europe. He said, "If you compare it with the Nordic countries or England, the difference is more visible."
It may be that Spanish people are not more affectionate than people from other countries, but they are more comfortable showing it. Kissing in public is not necessarily a grand way of expressing love. It's simply an accepted part of everyday life.
Lifestyle can also play a role in this. About 65 percent of Spain's population lives in flats. This is the largest proportion among the European Union countries. At the same time, due to skyrocketing property prices, it is becoming increasingly difficult for the youth to leave their family home and live separately.
Perhaps the most interesting thing about kissing in Spain is that it has now become completely common.
Lassen says the lack of privacy in homes can take intimate moments into public spaces.
"There is a housing crisis in Spain," she says. "It means we are more used to meeting our friends outside rather than at home. We go to bars and restaurants. Now couples have to look for an empty bench to spend some time alone. Or at least a place where they are almost alone."
However, Lassen says the housing crisis is not the real reason to show love in public space.
Even more important is Spain's relaxed attitude towards this.
"If no one is staring at you or you don't care, that's what makes it easier to show affection in public," she says.
Isabel Nieto Tous, 28, returned to her parents' home three years ago after living abroad. She knows how uncomfortable it can be to date someone without privacy.
She said, "I didn't want to tell my parents that I was staying at someone's house, because it would seem a bit awkward. So I used to say that I was staying at a friend's house."
Tous, who has lived in Japan, France, Germany and Tunisia, believes that the style of dating in Spain is different.
According to him, there is a natural warmth between people right from the beginning.
She says, "People become close to each other very quickly and even become physically comfortable. You may be in a relationship with someone in which there is no clear definition. You may have met him only twice and have already started holding his hand in public places and become very close to him."
She adds, "I think in general, kissing in public is completely acceptable. There is no distinction between indoors and outdoors. People behave in the same way in private as in public."
When surveillance was kept in public places
There was a time in Spain when all this was not common.
During the dictatorship of Francisco Franco (1939–1975), public behavior was dictated by conservative Catholic values and strict laws. Homosexuality was considered a crime and even expressions of love in public were monitored. Couples could even be fined for kissing in public.
After Franco's death in 1975, there was a cultural change in Spain. In Madrid, a movement known as La Movida Madrileña celebrated freedom and the right to express oneself.
Filmmakers like Pedro Almodóvar challenged the conservative values of the past. As this movement progressed, expression of love became more visible in public life.
But this big change did not come on its own. LGBT rights activists have been protesting for decades and paving the way for a more open society.
One such important protest took place in Madrid on 23 February 1987. The year before, two women were arrested for kissing each other in Madrid's Puerta del Sol.
He was kept in police custody for two days under the Escandalo Público (public disturbance) law.
Following his detention, activists organized a massive kissing demonstration to draw attention to the case.
From that year until the 1990s, every Pride parade in Madrid ended with a kiss in the Puerta del Sol. Kissing each other on the street became a powerful form of peaceful protest. In the year 1988, the crime related to public nuisance was also abolished.
open society of spain
Today, scenes of expressing love in public places can be seen everywhere in Spain, but not everyone experiences this freedom in the same way.
According to Lassen, an elderly couple kissing on a public bench may receive more attention, while same-sex couples may face more surveillance and questions.
She says, "Not everyone is equally comfortable with revealing their relationship publicly."
For Paula Furio, a former wedding photographer in Valencia, a kiss symbolizes something big.
She says, "There is still a lot to be done, but in general Spanish society is very open. The kiss is just the beginning. It gives you an idea of how much freedom you can have in Spain. It is an expression of freedom."
This reminded me of my friend who returned from Japan and how relieved she was to see a couple kissing on a bench.
