There are many ways that Victoria Police sergeant Shona O'Connor could have chosen to die.
Warning: This story contains description of a suicide.
But on a November morning in 2019, Shona's was a very deliberate path: she dressed in her police uniform, signed out her gun at her police station, drove an hour north to the tiny town of Malmsbury and entered a toilet block in its botanic gardens.
There, in a locked cubicle, she called triple zero and began to cry.
"I'm really sorry, I'm a police officer, my name is Shona O'Connor."
"I've got a marked police car with me … I'm about to shoot myself, I'm sorry."
She texted her family "I love you" and a kiss emoji and she pulled the trigger.
"Our family was broken from that day," her sister Reschelle says.
Shona was 43, a mother of three, and had wanted to join the police force since she was in preschool.
Jacob Laidlaw, the young detective tasked with investigating the aftermath of Shona's death for Victoria Police's integrity division, Professional Standards, believes her choice to suicide in uniform, with her police gun was what he calls a "statement suicide".
"[It] is a statement to Victoria Police that, 'I'm doing this because of you,'" Laidlaw says.
What Shona had endured, and how Laidlaw saw his own integrity unit operating, raise serious questions about the organisation tasked with protecting the Victorian public.
Hundreds of pages of court transcripts, coronial documents, internal police communications and handwritten police diary notes reveal a hidden culture of bullying, sexually harassing comments, theft and a trail of corruption.
Shona's family want the coronial investigation into her death reopened and have issued a plea to Police Commissioner Mike Bush.
"Mike, sir, you need to fix this," Shona's father Michael O'Connor says, fighting back tears.
"Our daughter's dead sir, and she's never coming back."
The 'boys' club'
Melton Police Station's culture caused Victoria Police management concern years before Shona died.
"It was very unsafe [at Melton], particularly for policewomen," Laidlaw says.
Kylie Hinson is a former Victoria Police sergeant who worked with Shona at Melton in the early 2000s.
She remembers the sexist, big-drinking culture at the station as being like no other place she had worked, with drinking on the job both expected and encouraged.
"[It was] absolutely horrible," Hinson says.
"You were treated so poorly. [It was a] very masculine station," she says, adding that new female officers at the station were nicknamed "pee wees".
Hinson says male officers would compete to sleep with the young women.
She says that there were parties known as "mongrels" with strippers – an account corroborated by another former female officer who later worked at Melton.
Nearly three years before Shona died, Victoria Police was so concerned about Melton, they issued a questionnaire to staff to "investigate allegations of predatory behaviour" at the station.
"The questionnaire identified a concerning degree of inappropriate and derogatory behaviour from members at the Melton Police Station," Victoria Police told Four Corners.
Shona told her family she experienced this too.
"She did make reference of the fact that it was hard to be a female in the police force, that it was very much a boys' club," her sister Reschelle remembers.
Many police who worked at Melton or knew its culture described it as a "boys' club".
One of the "boys" was Shona's senior sergeant at the station, Simon Payne.
Shona told her father, Michael, and later her boyfriend, Nathan Parker, a senior sergeant who had also worked at Melton, that Payne had made sexually harassing comments about her on two occasions. The first was at a sergeants' training session in 2017.
"She heard Simon Payne talking about the size of her breasts with another officer. They were talking inappropriately, about her breasts," Michael says.
Michael says Shona told him she had complained to her inspector, Kathryn Rudkins, and nothing was done.
Parker later wrote in a statement for the coroner "RUDKINS cannot deny this as every member at Melton would have been aware".
Michael says his daughter thought her complaint would go nowhere — she was hearing rumours about Payne and Rudkins.
"She said, 'Dad, it wouldn't do any good, the word is, he's sleeping with her,'" Michael remembers Shona telling him.
"And so, the report didn't go anywhere."
Shona told her father Payne commented on the size of her breasts again at a function.
She said this time, the comment was overheard by Rudkins.
Four Corners has been given rare access to the almost-600-page police brief prepared for the Victorian Coroner into Shona's death.
In it, Parker swore a statement that said: "I observed RUDKINS crying and she stated that she had an argument with PAYNE, stating 'How could he do that, it was exactly the same as the previous complaint and she had believed that he had [not said anything] about Shona's breasts.'"
In statements to Four Corners, Rudkins denied having an affair, denied that Shona made a complaint to her, and denied overhearing Simon Payne talk about Shona's breasts.
In her sworn statement for the coroner, she said she did witness an incident that made her wonder.
She said she saw Payne "… looking across at Shona and laugh[ing]" and "Later in the evening I made comment to Simon Payne about whether this related to a comment about Shona and her breasts. He responded with 'How dare you?'"
Another senior sergeant told the coroner that Rudkins had been "upset and a little bit emotional".
"She informed me that Simon PAYNE had said something inappropriate and they had words about it."
Other people were talking about Payne's behaviour too. In an email sent to Laidlaw, a young administrative staffer wrote that "S/Sgt Payne made my time at Melton unbearable at times. … He was a horrible and intimidating man to work for."
An inspector who later became Local Area Commander at Melton, Zorka Dunstan, wrote in a statement that Payne had a "problem with women".
"I had been advised that there was a 'boys club' culture at Melton prior to commencing and as time passed, it was becoming evident that there was truth behind this, with Simon being a main player," Dunstan wrote.
Dunstan wrote that about a month before Shona's death, Shona had "made an allegation of bullying by Simon [Payne]" and that she had asked for evidence of it.
"I informed her that pending the information provided, that I would action the complaint appropriately."
Parker said in his coronial statement that Shona had spoken to Dunstan about emails Simon Payne had sent her. He said Dunstan "stated she addressed [Payne's] unprofessional, bullying emails with him".
Parker emailed Dunstan saying Shona was not "feeling supported by management" and warned about Victoria Police members suffering "anxiety and mental illness".
Simon Payne did not respond to Four Corners' text messages, emails and phone calls.
Shona transferred to a job at nearby Caroline Springs, but her problems continued.
She felt she was doing unfair work hours and a high-pressure role in charge of rostering.
"I think it was incredibly toxic and incredibly detrimental to even the most resilient person," her sister Reschelle says.
"There's only so much you can take, and when you're spending 60, 70, maybe 80 per cent of your time in an environment that is crushing you from everywhere, something's got to give."
Three days before she died, she rang her father, "stressed out of her brain" and told him another manager had berated her.
She was worried she'd be sent back to Melton. Michael says she told him, "If I go back to Melton, Dad, I'll be mincemeat".
She never went back to Melton. On the night of November 21, 2019, Shona argued with her boyfriend. She became very upset. The next morning, she went to work, drove to Malmsbury and took her life
Dogs and lost property
Shona wasn't the reason Laidlaw was first tasked with looking into Melton and Simon Payne.
His investigation into other activities at the station revealed the senior sergeant was spending police time on his second job: greyhound racing.
"What I found is during his course of absenteeism from work, he was travelling all over the state racing greyhounds," Laidlaw says.
At Melton, Payne was in charge of the team overseeing property seized during police operations.
A former intelligence officer who assisted Laidlaw, Frank Craig, says he was concerned to learn Payne had taken home a drop saw from the property office.
"He basically said that he had dropped an item, it broke, and he took it home to fix it," Craig says.
Laidlaw conducted a detailed audit of thousands of items at Melton and noticed the bottom of some sealed evidence bags had "been cut with scissors and then just sticky taped back together".
Nine months after Shona's death, Laidlaw arrested Payne over allegations of misconduct in public office.
Professional Standards' Strategic Intelligence Unit prepared a scathing report about the systemic property problems Laidlaw had identified at Melton, saying it showed "prima facie evidence of potential criminal conduct".
"Any publicity is highly likely to damage the reputation of [Victoria Police] and its employees and would highlight poor practises and potential criminality," the report said.
Victoria Police had been warned about the weaknesses in its management of seized property twice before: by the auditor general in 2018, and by the Office of Police Integrity (OPI) in 2007.
"The emerging evidence … 13 years after this risk was identified by OPI is likely to give rise to claims from public and media critics that Victoria Police has not learned past lessons and cannot be relied upon [to] manage its own ethical health," the Strategic Intelligence Unit's report said.
But instead of acting on this, Laidlaw and Craig say that Professional Standards management tried to thwart their inquiries.
"They didn't want this bigger issue going broader. They wanted this whole investigation pretty much to just wrap up, move on."
Laidlaw says whenever he sought additional resources "it would be blocked".
"Anytime I started to get traction with an investigation, I'd be pulled back."
In an exclusive interview, Chief Commissioner Mike Bush says the behaviour described in the Strategic Intelligence Unit report was "absolute criminality".
"I'm about now and the future," Bush says.
"I take that commentary as a lesson as to why [when] we do get things wrong, we should own them and we should be very public about it."
‘Kiss, kiss’
In 2019 Kathryn Rudkins had moved from Melton station to Professional Standards. She was one of Laidlaw's superiors.
Before and after Shona's death, Rudkins and Payne were exchanging hundreds of phone calls and texts every month. On at least two occasions they signed off their messages "kiss, kiss, sleep well".
After Laidlaw arrested Payne, Rudkins moved their conversations to the encrypted messaging app, Signal. At Payne's committal hearing in Melbourne Magistrate's Court she said this was because she didn't want her communications with him detected.
During cross examination, when asked to confirm that she knew that this was "contrary to policy" and "the police force values", Rudkins replied "that's correct".
She admitted to flirting with Payne, but denied an affair, and said the reason for not declaring the association was that "people are more important than paperwork".
Shona's family were never told any of this and were shocked to learn about it from Four Corners.
"This is not a professional standards environment," Reschelle says.
"This is not even a school yard, this is pathetic."
Laidlaw says Rudkins's relationship with Payne was "totally inappropriate".
"I'd be pretty comfortable with someone looking into her for [a charge of] misconduct of a public official as well," he says.
Rudkins told Four Corners that signing off messages with kisses was "not uncommon" for her and something she did in texts with Shona, too.
She says she declared her friendship with Payne to the acting superintendent and says they had maintained contact because there were "a number of issues that he was experiencing that I am not going to go into".
Rudkins retired before an internal disciplinary investigation into allegations of a conflict of interest, a failure to report alleged inappropriate comments and failing to declare an association, could be completed.
She was never charged in court.
"People should be held to account for their actions," Bush says.
"But when those people leave the organisation, there's very little we can do about it."
When asked if Rudkins should have been criminally charged, he replies, "She should have been held accountable, absolutely."
Push to narrow investigation
One of Laidlaw's other superiors at Professional Standards was Inspector Daniel Baulch.
It was Baulch who tasked him with investigating the allegations Payne had bullied Shona, months after he had started investigating other activities at Melton.
Several months later Laidlaw's handwritten police diary notes record that Baulch wanted him to narrow his investigation to theft and not focus on Melton's broader systemic property issues outlined in the Strategical Intelligence Unit report.
When Four Corners raised Jacob Laidlaw's name with Kylie Hinson, Baulch's ex-wife, she recognised it straight away, saying that Baulch would "come home very angry" and tell her that he wanted to "destroy" Laidlaw.
"He [said he] would drive him into the ground, get him moved on to another station," Hinson says.
"I don't know why he was so adamant in ruining Jacob's career."
Hinson says Baulch had been "very matey" with Simon Payne when they worked together at Melton in the early 2000s.
A later internal review found that Baulch's direction to narrow Laidlaw's investigation was "a reasonable management decision" but accepted that the cultural issues Laidlaw complained about at Professional Standards were "below the expected standard of any Victoria Police workplace".
Daniel Baulch sent a letter via his solicitor saying he "categorically denies the allegations put to him by Four Corners".
"He did not seek to narrow or obstruct any investigation, he did not bully anyone," the statement says.
His solicitor says Baulch is bound by strict confidentiality obligations and cannot discuss operational matters.
Evidence withheld
Key details about Shona's experiences at Victoria Police before she died never reached the coroner.
While the coroner did receive information about sexually harassing comments Shona complained about, Four Corners has discovered material was withheld from police's coronial brief.
For instance, Melton Local Area Commander, Zorka Dunstan's statement about the "boys' club" at Melton and Shona's complaint to Dunstan about bullying by Payne was left out, as were the statements of her sisters.
