The search for the right shoe size: a personal struggle against limited supply

I remember my childhood skiing holidays with pain. In shoe stores, you could sneak over to the men's side unnoticed and get yourself a pair of shoes in the right size. But in the ski and boot rental, you had to say the number out loud.

I made it a point to ask for a size 41 and then work my way up with surprised comments like, "Oh, they must be a size small." With a bit of luck I got up to 42.5 and thus avoided pronouncing the horrible number 43.

Almost no women's shoes are made in sizes larger than 42, and this also applies to boots. The black-red men's boots still revealed me among the other girls' pink and glittery ones.

In middle school, fortunately, the trendiest gym shoes were available as unisex. But unluckily, at that age you would buy shoes to "grow into", which for me meant size 44.

Of course, it didn't take long for the bullying girl's hawk eyes to reach my feet. "Take them off," she ordered me to check the size.

Then and there I decided to mentally saw myself off at the balls of my feet. Everything below I no longer identified as part of my body.

Since then, all my shoes have squeezed the same amount over the toes. When I call Toni Arndt, professor of biomechanics at the School of Gymnastics and Sports, GIH, I understand that this can have consequences.

- Shoes that are too tight compress the muscles, bones and ligaments of the foot. In the long run, it can lead to pain, injuries and adaptations such as hallux valgus, which may require surgery, he says.

It's time. I need to get a pair of shoes in the right size. Cost what it costs.

To save myself time, I skip the big shoe chains. I already know they don't have my size. Instead, I go directly to one of Stockholm's specialty stores for small and large feet: Milander shoes on Södermalm.

The store's opening hours testify to the challenge I have in front of me: 12.30-2.30 p.m. Once there, during the lunch break, I hear a man say that the 50's are too small. Of course, size 51 is also available.

- What size are you? asks the shop assistant.

- 42.5, I manage. The shame is in.

Maybe a so-called "private appointment" in Sania d'mina's shoe salon in Östermalm can strengthen my self-confidence, I think. It is one of the few, if not the only, truly exclusive Swedish shoe brand that offers women's shoes up to size 44.

When I get there, several shoes, adapted to my foot, are lined up, and after a long explanation about the craft, I finally get to try them on.

Well worth the wait, because the first pair, hear and be amazed, are too big.

- It's about psychology, says Sania Claus Demina. We have started to make our models a little bigger, because I notice that women are happier to go down a size than up one.

In other words, I'm not the first big-footed woman she meets.

Today, there are a handful of stores in Stockholm that are aimed at people like us.

In another, albeit less luxurious - Frövi shoes in Gamla stan - shop owner Åke Pfrunder has noticed how the clientele has changed over the past 30 years. Previously, the target group was mainly older people, but now more and more young women are coming in with long and wide feet.

- They tell you, just like you, that they have often hunted around for a long time for shoes that fit. It is really depressing that the supply is so minimal, he says.

He links the development to the fact that many smaller shoe stores have closed in recent years, and that the store chains and brands that have taken over rarely offer sizes larger than 41 or 42.

- And when they do, they often look rather dull and functional, he says.

Despite the fact that several of the stores I talk to experience the same thing - that the demand for large women's shoes is increasing - according to Toni Arndt, there are no scientific studies that confirm that our feet would have generally become longer or wider.

However, the shape can change over the years, which could explain why the largest shoe models tend to be more ergonomic than aesthetically pleasing.

- Factors such as pregnancy, a lot of barefoot walking, tight shoes or diabetes can make the feet longer or wider during life, says Toni Arndt.

At Frövi shoes, Åke Pfrunder tries to wash away the "aunt feeling" and adapt the range to his new clientele. At the same time, he still does not sell shoes with heels higher than four centimeters.

- Women with big feet are often quite tall, and then you might not want very high heels, he says.

Sania Claus Demina does not think so, and neither do her customers. On the contrary, she does not sell any shoes with a heel lower than five centimeters - and even the larger sizes are sold.

- I actually sell more 43s than 36s, she says.

I understand why when, in my very own Cinderella moment, I stride into the store in a pair of size 42.5 high-heeled boots, the soft lambskin of which hugs my feet perfectly.

The spell is broken when I learn that the price tag is SEK 11,700.

So I seem to have two choices before my upcoming shoe purchase: to be ruined or to thumb my nose at the aesthetics. No, after all, it probably shouldn't cost what it costs to have a pair of nice shoes.

But how can the supply be so meager when so many like me seem to have the same problem?

Ales Jurca, researcher at Volumental, a company that has developed technology for 3D scanning of feet, simply does not believe that retailers are aware of how many women have large feet.

The company has scanned 17 million women worldwide, of which 225,000 in Sweden. Based on the data, Germany has the largest proportion of women in Europe with a shoe size larger than 42: 4.8 percent. In Sweden, the corresponding proportion is 3.3 percent, in Italy 2.49 percent and in Japan 0.28 percent.

- An increased awareness of this has led to some of our partners starting to offer larger sizes. But there are still very few, says Ales Jurca.

The Swedish shoe brand Vagabond belongs to those who do not manufacture women's shoes larger than 42, and I ask the financial manager Ann Hjelte what she thinks people like me should do.

"We really regret that we don't have women's shoes in your size," she begins her email reply.

She then explains that they have no plans to change the range at the moment, and advises me to look in the German and Dutch markets instead.

After many hours of scrolling, I click home a pair of loafers from an Italian retailer, specializing in large and small shoes.

They have already rendered several compliments, and I send a thought of gratitude to the small-footed Italians who are obviously also thinking of us big-footed northerners.