Why young couples decide against having children

Anni Störling is 31 years old, married and lives in Munich with her husband and dog Nala. She loves traveling alone, being independent and shaping her own life. She doesn't miss children. "We're just happy with our lives the way they are," she says. On Instagram she speaks openly about the fact that she currently cannot imagine becoming a mother.

But her attitude has also met with criticism. She is constantly asked when she will finally have children. Others assume that she just hasn't found the right partner yet. For Störling, however, it is clear: having a child should be a conscious decision. She and her husband agreed: "As long as it's not a clear yes, it's a no."

The desire to have children and reality drift apart

Around 654,000 children were born in Germany in 2025, fewer than at any time since 1946. The average birth rate was 1.32 children per woman - the lowest value since 1997. There are various reasons for the falling birth rates.

According to current data from the Federal Institute for Population Research (BiB), young adults who want to become parents continue to want more children than are actually born - an average of around 2.2. At the same time, in 2025 the average desire to have children fell for the first time in several years. On average, women wanted 1.7 children and men 1.6.

The slump in births since 2021 has been linked to the almost simultaneous occurrence of several crises such as the corona pandemic, the war in Ukraine and rising inflation, which are unsettling young people. High rents, uncertain career prospects and global political decisions influence the decision to have children. In the BiB survey, 85 percent of participants expressed concerns about wars.

Expectations of parents have also increased. Dagmar Müller, social scientist at the German Youth Institute, observes high expectations of one's own role as a parent. "These are incredibly high expectations, which also lead to everyone believing that you have to be perfect in the role of parent." In addition to economic and social reasons, personal life plans play a role. For some women, motherhood is no longer a prerequisite for a fulfilling life.

The consequences of falling birth rates

Falling birth rates have major long-term negative effects on the pension, care and health systems. In Germany, a low birth rate leads in the long term to an aging population - with a smaller generation strength in working age and a large generation strength in retirement age.

The consequences of such a development are serious and have a negative impact on social security systems and social prosperity. In order to increase births, better conditions are required for families - such as parental allowance or childcare.

Fertility decreases with age

Starting a family has been postponed for decades. But female fertility decreases with increasing age. Nina Rogenhofer from the Hormone and Fertility Center at Ludwig Maximilian University in Munich explains that both the number and quality of eggs decrease with age.

Freezing eggs, so-called social freezing, can improve the chances of a future pregnancy. However, it does not offer a guarantee. Rogenhofer is observing increased demand. In addition, women are increasingly older when they give birth to their first child, on average 30 years old.

While some women try to keep their desire to have children open for later, others question whether they even want children.

"We rather regret not having children"

For Anni Störling, self-determination is particularly important. She doesn't want to become a mother just because it's socially expected. She is aware that she might regret her decision later. "We'd rather regret not having children than regret having children," she says. She doesn't know whether she'll change her attitude at some point. For now, she's not missing anything.

Her story shows another facet of the debate about falling birth rates: In addition to unfulfilled and postponed desires to have children, there are people who can simply imagine life without children.