After the school attack in Manisa, "peer bullying" became a topic of discussion again. While children's relationships with their social environment intensify again with the opening of schools, peer bullying is among the important issues that families should pay attention to. Peer bullying, which can occur in different ways, from physical violence to verbal and social exclusion, from ridicule to digital bullying, can negatively affect children's psychological and social lives.
Expert Family Counselor Psychologist Gurbet Koç stated that peer bullying is not just about physical violence and said, "Continuous mocking, exclusion, threat, humiliation or conscious removal of a child from the group of friends should also be considered within the scope of bullying."
'THE CHILD MAY NOT ALWAYS DIRECTLY EXPLAIN WHAT IS EXPERIENCED'
Psychologist Gurbet Koç pointed out that children may have difficulty telling their families about the bullying they experience, and stated that especially behavioral changes should be followed carefully by parents.
Koç said, "Situations such as the child not wanting to go to school, moving away from his friends, becoming introverted, losing interest in activities he previously enjoyed, or experiencing changes in his sleeping or eating patterns do not alone constitute bullying. However, if these changes become permanent, it is necessary to try to understand what the child is experiencing in his social environment."
'INSTEAD OF BLAMING THE CHILD, WE NEED TO LISTEN'
Emphasizing that families' approach to children who encounter bullying is of great importance, Koç said that parents should first listen to the child calmly.
Koç made the following suggestions:
The child should be asked open-ended questions about his experiences.
Accusatory statements such as “You must have done something too” should be avoided.
Approaches that belittle the child's experiences or say "Never mind, don't worry about it" should not be used.
The child should be made to feel that he is not alone and that his experiences are important.
When necessary, the school administration and guidance service should be contacted.
If the problem persists or significantly affects the child's daily life, support should be sought from a specialist.
'FIGHTING BACK DOES NOT MEAN FIGHTING BULLYING'
Stating that it is not right to suggest that children respond to bullying with physical violence, Koç said, "We must support children's skills in setting boundaries, asking for help, and sharing the problems they experience with reliable adults so that they can protect themselves. The aim is not to draw the child further into the conflict, but to ensure their safety."
BEWARE OF DIGITAL BULLYING
Pointing out that bullying is not limited to the school environment today, Gurbet Koç stated that social media and messaging applications can also become a part of the bullying that children are exposed to.
Koç said, "Making fun of the child's photos, sharing humiliating content about him, excluding him from group chats, or threatening him may be examples of digital bullying. It is important for parents to try to understand their children's digital world by communicating with them rather than just controlling it."
'WE SHOULD TEACH THAT ASKING FOR HELP IS POWER TOO'
Psychologist Gurbet Koç stated that not only the child who is bullied, but also the entire school environment is responsible for preventing peer bullying, and concluded his words as follows:
"We must explain to children that being strong does not mean solving every problem alone. Asking for help, sharing your experiences and being able to set limits are also important signs of strength. Creating a social environment where children feel safe and valuable is one of the most important steps in the fight against bullying."
